But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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