Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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