you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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