A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
