if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I have aggressive nipples.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
