Fuck appropriateness.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
