You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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