Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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