I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
