I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
