dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
love makes seman taste better
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
