You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
