I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
