I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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