kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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