Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
