i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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