Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i dont even know how to be here
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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