Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
