Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
