I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
