I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
