my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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