i would punch a child for taco bell
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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