Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
