for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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