I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
