I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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