just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
