don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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