Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
