she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
