why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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