she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
