My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
