Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
