Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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