I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
