worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
