Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
