arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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