Girls should come with a carfax report
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I would ride that face into the sunset
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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