Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
