Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
