please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
