He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My ass is underappreciated
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
