listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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