I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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