Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
