She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
