You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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